Teaching My Kids How to Ski

My husband and I love to ski and snowboard, so we wanted to get our kids on the mountain as soon as their feet could fit into ski boots. Over New Years, our family headed up to Northstar, Lake Tahoe. The winter has been unseasonably warm and dry so there isn’t much snow, but we figured any snow would be enough for the kids to learn.

When my son was two years old, we decided to try him on skis when we were on a winter weekend trip in Yosemite. We took him up to Yosemite’s Badger Pass and rented skis for him. We were worried that the rental shop wouldn’t have boots that would fit his toddler feet. The smallest size they had was a 17.0 (which is a toddler size 10). Our son was a size 9, but we figured it was okay that the boots were a little roomy because he wasn’t going to be doing any serious skiing, yet. We took him up the magic carpet to the top of the bunny hill and gave him a little push. He’d go about 5 feet on his own from me to his dad. It was a good warm-up.

Last season, my son was three and old enough to go to ski school at Northstar. We were nervous the first time we dropped him off since we knew he would scream and cry. Northstar’s kiddie ski school has it down to a science and the experienced instructors know exactly how to handle reluctant children. They enticed my son with gummy bears and a room full of toys. Once he walked in, they whisked him away and closed the door before he could turnaround and protest. Another parent who was dropping off his child at the same time commented, “This is awesome!” He learned to side step on his skis, go on and off the magic carpet, and ski a few yards on his own, and we got to enjoy a few hours of shredding down the mountain by ourselves.

Learning to ski is no easy task. It’s an expensive sport. There’s the clothing: ski jacket, pants, thermals, gloves, goggles and the most important thing, a helmet. Our 4-year old son, who has an above average size head, wears a M/L size Youth helmet, and our daughter has the cutest pink Paul Frank helmet in size XS/S. Then there’s the equipment. Renting kids skis costs around $30 each time, plus the time spent waiting in line at the rental shop hoping they don’t run out of the sizes we need. To streamline the process, we decided to buy skis for our kids from our local Any Mountain store. They have a junior trade program where you buy your kids boots, skis and bindings for $100 total, and every time your child grows out of them, you can exchange the set for the next size up for $50. Basically, it’s like renting skis for the whole season (or longer depending how fast your kids grow) for $50, not too bad. For our son, we bought him size 17.0 boots (toddler size 10) and 80 cm skis (he’s 41″ tall and 36 lbs.), which have lasted him for two seasons now. Our 34″ tall/26 lb. daughter wears size 7 toddler shoes, and we got her size 15.5 boots (toddler size 8.5), even though they had boots as small as size 14.0. We got her the smallest skis they had, 70 cm. It’s so cute to see skis that small. Once you’ve got all the gear and equipment, then there’s the lift ticket. Most resorts charge over $100 for a daily lift ticket so it makes better sense to just get a season pass. Kids under 5  get a free season pass, so it pays to get the kids started early. That’s why we’re trying to make the most of this season and and get our kids on the mountain as much as possible since our son will be 5 next year.

A typical day on the slopes starts by dressing the kids in way too many layers. Once we get them out the door, we schlep all their gear, in addition to our own, and carry the kids, who are lazy and have a hard time walking in their ski boots, to the base of the ski lifts. If we make it this far, we buckle in and shuffle up to the line for the chair lift. By this time, we’re all exhausted and sweating from the multiple layers. The kids have lost all interest in skiing and are on the verge of a tantrum. Everyone wants to go home, including me. Why do we go through all this trouble for such little reward? It’s not fun for parents and it doesn’t seem like the kids are having much fun either. They’d much rather stay warm in the cabin and watch DVDs and play with Legos.

On this most recent trip, I found myself sitting on the chair lift surveying the scene below. I spot one mom struggling to get her child to stand up on his skis. Everytime she lifts him up to stand, his whole body goes limp like a noodle. I watched her struggle for many minutes and the kid just refused to stand up. I feel her pain. I’ve been in the exact same predicament. From my perch, I can’t hear what she’s saying to her son, but I can guess that the conversation was similar to my own coaching of my son. I start out encouraging, “You’re doing great! You can do it!” When that doesn’t work to motivate him, my tone turns more stern “Come on. Get up!” When that fails, I resort to begging and bribery. “Can you pleeeeeease just stand up? I’ll give you candy if you do it.” If that still doesn’t work, I end up threatening and chastising,”Stop being a big baby. If you don’t get up now, I will never give you any candy ever again!”

Up the hill, I see another mom wearing only boots, with no skis or snowboard. She’s holding her son’s arms while jogging alongside him as attempts to snowboard. They look like they’re doing a very awkward and clumsy dance as she turns his body right and left, toe-edge to heel-edge. My husband says to me, “Now that looks tiring! The things we parents do…”

Everywhere I look, parents are struggling to teach their children how to ski. There are some parents bent over holding their child in between their skis. This works, but it’s hell on your back and thighs. I prefer to hold my child’s hand and ski alongside them as I wedge to keep us both from going too fast. Some parents tether their child to a leash to prevent any runaways or put clips on their skis to keep them wedging. Others put a hula hoop around their kid for both to hold onto. There are so many different methods to get to the same goal: to teach our kids how to ski down the mountain on their own.

My kids love to go fast. The problem is, they don’t know how to stop. The first step is teaching them to “pizza” or wedge their skis with the tips pointing inward, in the shape of a cheese wedge or pizza slice. No matter, how many times we’ve yelled “Pizza!” our kids don’t do it. Now that my daughter is old enough to join her brother in ski school, we’ll probably just leave it to the professionals and drop them off at ski school.

-Catherine Lo

Breaking the Co-sleeping Habit

I have to confess. I still sleep with my daughter who is almost three years old. Every night, I lay down in bed with her until she falls asleep. She’ll wake up anywhere between 1 to 5 am and at the sound of her cry, I immediately go to her room and carry her back to my bed and we both fall fast asleep. It’s a bad habit.

I know she can fall asleep on her own. She does it everyday when she naps at school with no problems. One evening, my sister-in-law babysat the kids while we went to a concert. We’d be home late, and I wondered if my daughter would be able to fall asleep without me. We got home close to midnight and I was expecting my daughter to be awake waiting up for me. She was fast asleep in her own bed. She simply said she was tired, went to her room, climbed into her bed and asked for Mommy. Auntie told her that Mommy would come home later and the sooner she fell asleep, the sooner Mommy would be home. She fell for it and laid her head down and went to sleep on her own. Easy peasy. So why is it so hard for me to leave her side?

When I lay down and wait for her to fall asleep, which can sometimes take 20-30 minutes, I inevitably fall asleep too. This messes up the rest of my night. If I do manage to wake myself up, I sneak out of her bed and go about my evening tasks: making their school lunches, doing the dishes, folding laundry, checking email, etc. I usually can’t fall back asleep until after 3 am and then I wake up a few hours later to start the morning. This is not a healthy sleep schedule. Some nights, I stay asleep in my daughter’s bed the whole night, and I wake up the next morning feeling guilty and annoyed that I didn’t accomplish anything the night before.

I found myself feeling stressed about the insurmountable things I had to do. I wondered why can’t I get anything done? Why is the house always a mess? Why are there stacks of unread mail all over? How does everyone else get things done? I realized that I was losing crucial hours every night going to bed with my daughter. I decided right then that this had to stop. When it was time for my daughter to lay down in bed, I told her that she was a big girl now and could sleep on her own. She pleaded with me to stay with her, but I told her that I needed to make her lunch, and distracted her by asking what she wanted for lunch. She thought about it and said, “I want quesadillas.” “OK, then I need to go make quesadillas now.” “OK mommy. You go make quesadillas for my lunch.” I gave her a kiss on the nose, said good night and was out the door. I didn’t give her any time to protest. I think the novelty of it probably contented her. She didn’t fall asleep right away. For the next 30 minutes I heard giggling, singing, and whispering coming from the kids’ room. But I was able to pack their lunches instead of lying in her bed waiting for sleep to overcome her, and me as well.

My daughter has now been falling asleep on her own for the past two weeks. Every night when she lays down in bed, she will say, “Mommy, I want you to stay with me.” I ask her how many minutes she wants me to stay. She usually answers somewhere between 1-5 minutes. I set my phone’s timer and she gets to pick the sound of the alarm (she prefers the duck or robot) and presses the green button to start the countdown. She then holds my phone and watches the time tick away. By the time it gets to zero and the duck quacks, she says, “OK Mommy, you can go.” Kiss on the nose, good night and I’m out the door. And not another peep.

Was it really this easy? What had I been waiting for? I guess I thought she needed me more than she did. It’s nice to have my nights back. What should I do with all this extra time? Maybe go to bed early.

-Catherine Lo

My son’s first F word

I knew it was bound to happen. My four-year old uttered the dreaded four-letter word. I was driving with our windows rolled down on a rare hot day in the Bay Area. A bicyclist was riding in the bike lane along the side of my car and as I passed him, another cyclist sped right through the tiny space in between him and my car. The first biker yelled “F*@# YOU!” to the speeding cyclist, rightfully so. It just happened that this exchange occurred right next to my son’s open window. Then my son asks, “Mommy, why did that guy say f*@#?” I thought to myself, Oh F*@#! Of all the ways for my kid to learn that word. I knew it would happen eventually, but not from such a random occurrence. I tried to play it off and nonchalantly answered my son, “That guy was upset. It’s not a nice word and he shouldn’t have said it.” I didn’t want to make a big deal about it because if I stressed how BAD it was and drilled it into my son to NEVER say that word, he’d probably walk around everywhere saying F*@#, F*@#, F*@#, F*@#, F*@#.

-Catherine Lo